The female orgasm: How to have one and types of orgasm

History of the female orgasm

Humans have been experiencing orgasms for a very long time. Way back in the Roman Empire, two characters in Ovid’s Metamorphoses found themselves falling out about whether men or women had better orgasms, so much so that the person they went to ask cursed one of them by taking his eyesight away. Fortunately, the days of blinding curses are long gone, but the debate about who gets the better orgasm lives on.

In contemporary times, the female orgasm is also known as climax and is a key part of sexual activity. Female orgasm can be achieved through clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, anal stimulation, and, less commonly, through stimulation of other erogenous zones. We’ll talk you through all the different types of orgasm, plus explain some of the scientific mysteries around the female orgasm.

Orgasms will feel different for everyone, but physiological signs include increased blood pressure, heart rate and breathing and there are four defined stages to the process — more on those later.

What causes a female orgasm?

Female orgasm is caused by stimulation of the clitoris, the vagina, the anal canal or erogenous zones. Continued stimulation leads to a build-up of pressure that causes a euphoric sensation in the body. The best part? It’s good for your health.

What happens during orgasm?

There are some physiological signs of orgasm, but since everyone reacts differently, some make noise while others experience it in silence, the only way to know if someone has had an orgasm is to ask.

It’s vital to keep judgment out of the conversation when this discussion happens, try not to take it personally if your partner has not reached climax. There can be many reasons, and it is not always down to you.

What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

There are four stages of orgasm: excitement, plateau, climax, and resolution. Here’s a bit more about each stage for the female body [1]:

• Excitement: This includes swelling of the breasts, widening of the vaginal walls, hardening of the nipples, and increased heart rate and muscle tension.
• The plateau: This phase is a continuation of the physical changes in the first phase, but these intensify, heart rate continues to rise, and the clitoris may become extremely sensitive.
• Climax: In the penultimate phase of climax or orgasm, heart rate is at its highest. Muscles pulse and contract in the vagina and uterus, and there is a feeling of release.
• Resolution: This is the final phase. While some can return to orgasm after this phase, resolution typically involves the body returning to its previous state. Post-orgasm is often associated with a sense of well-being. 

Different Kinds of Orgasm

The Clitoral Orgasm

For 72% of women, orgasm is achieved or improved through direct stimulation of the clitoris. [2] This is a small but mighty part of the female pleasure anatomy with thousands of nerve endings. [3] The visible part of the clitoris sits under a hood of skin at the top of the vulva. The clitoris is actually the tip of a larger organ with erectile tissue extending either side of the vaginal opening. Since the rest of the organ is inside the body, it’s this little tip that plays the most important role in the female orgasm.

The clitoris can be stimulated with fingers, a tongue, a sex toy, or a penis and pressure in repetitive, pulsing motions, usually building up to a climax. Experimentation and communication are key, with everyone having a different preference when it comes to how much pressure and which motion – circles, side to side, or up and down – that they like best. [2] Getting to know your own body by experimenting is a great way to find out what you like.

The Vaginal Orgasm

Only around 18% of women like to achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration on its own, despite what porn and popular culture would have us believe. [2] The false belief that this is the most common way to orgasm is perpetuated by a historical lack of research, and even Sigmund Freud has a role to play in the common misconception. It’s also based on a historical bias towards men’s sexual pleasure.

Freud came up with the idea that after puberty, women could only experience orgasm through vaginal stimulation. [4] Thanks for that, Freud. Fortunately, in the 1950s, the Kinsey report disproved this baseless theory— here’s to knowing more about our bodies and having better sex because of it! [5]

There are considerably less nerve endings in the vagina compared to the clitoris, which might explain why this kind of orgasm is relatively rare. [3]

Vaginal climax can be reached by stimulation of the G-spot, an area thought to be around 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the front wall. Some scientists contend that this is actually the clitoris being stimulated through the vaginal wall and that G-spot orgasms are therefore clitoral rather than vaginal orgasms; more scientific research is needed on the location and nature of the G-spot. [6]

The Anal Orgasm

The anal anatomy has several nerve endings in both female and male bodies. [7] Stimulation with fingers, toys or a penis can be very pleasurable, but you will need to use plenty of lube as the anal canal does not produce its own. It’s actually relatively rare to reach orgasm through anal stimulation alone, and it is thought that anal orgasms are usually reached due to the proximity of the clitoris and the G-spot. 

The blended orgasm or combined orgasm

Just like it sounds, this is a type of orgasm that is achieved through a combination of clitoral stimulation and vaginal stimulation. This can often result in a more explosive sensation with full-body convulsions and a sense of euphoria for the person involved. Again, experimentation is key, and pleasure is just one more thing you can get better at with practice.

You can try this in different positions with the missionary and spooning providing excellent access. It’s up to you whether you want to stimulate your clitoris yourself, get your partner involved, or use a vibrator.

All types of orgasm are relevant

 There’s no hierarchy when it comes to types of orgasm, and your favorite will depend on a lot of different factors. The best way to find out your own personal preference is experimentation, either alone or with a partner. Remember to keep communication open, always being totally honest about what you like and what you don’t.

What if you can’t orgasm?

It’s worth exploring with a sex therapist or a physician if you have trouble reaching orgasm. There can be many reasons, both psychological and physical, and professional help will make sure you get to the bottom of what is keeping you from orgasm. [8] Keep in mind that reaching climax, isn’t always what’s important. Thinking about the destination may stop you from enjoying the journey itself, and there are plenty of ways to enjoy sex.

The biological debate

Scientists who have dedicated their careers to researching the female orgasm have struggled to find a purpose for it, which might feel disappointing, but it doesn’t change just how amazing the female orgasm is! 

Some scientists believe that it was once connected to ovulation, with the hormone release that comes with orgasm prompting the female body to ovulate, as is the case for some other species like rabbits. Another theory argues that the female orgasm is a fortunate by-product of the clitoris and the penis having the same early development stages, coupled with the fact that the male orgasm is necessary for reproduction [9]. Thanks to birth control, this isn’t always the case any longer, and there’s also the fact that not all sex will lead to pregnancy – there are plenty of ways to have an orgasm that don’t – for example, oral sex or sex with someone of the same sex.

Common misconceptions about the female orgasm.

As with all taboo topics, there’s a lot of misinformation floating around, so let’s take a minute to debunk some myths about pleasure: 

Good sex must involve an orgasm

You can have enjoyable sex that doesn’t involve an orgasm. Touching, talking, and massage are great ways of enjoying each others’ bodies without the main event.

Both partners should orgasm at the same time

We’ve all sat through countless movie scenes where both partners reach earth-shattering crescendo at the same time, usually through penetrative sex. It’s not only unlikely but can set unrealistic expectations of what sex should be. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your orgasms separately, in fact, you may find it draws out the pleasure as long as possible. 

There’s something wrong with me if I can’t reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation

Wrong! You are not alone. Barely 50% of women can reach orgasms only with vaginal penetration. [3] If vaginal stimulation works for you, congratulations. If not, take the time to figure out what you like, alone or with your partner.

Masturbating will make you go blind

Ok, let’s just bust this unhelpful myth right out of the water. Many of us have grown up understanding that there is some kind of shame around masturbating. In fact, your sex life will probably improve greatly if you find out what you like first and then talk to your partner about what you have learned. What’s more, the do-it-yourself approach has a number of health benefits, including better sleep, and stress relief, and can even be attributed to relieving period pain. [10, 11] What’s not to love?

So, even if the scientists can’t agree on the purpose of the female orgasm, it is very much an important part of the female experience of sex. As long as the sex you’re having is safe and consensual, the type of orgasm you have and how you get there doesn’t matter. You can be sure that it is good for your health, even if its biological purpose remains a mystery.

Get to know your body better with Natural Cycles

Thanks for reading up on the female orgasm. We’re passionate about busting stigma when it comes to female pleasure and women’s health more generally. Non-hormonal, non-invasive birth control, Natural Cycles is designed to work with your body not against it. Looking for a natural way to prevent pregnancy? Look no further.