Clitoral Orgasm: How to touch, tips, & how it feels

Fortunately, we've come a long way since then. While female pleasure is still stigmatized, and the orgasm gap is a real thing, we know that orgasms from external clitoral stimulation are just as good as orgasms from vaginal stimulation and that there is no link between what type of orgasms we have and mental health disorders [2]. Clitoral orgasms are also more common than you might think – only 18% of women can climax from vaginal intercourse alone without external clitoral stimulation, and 36% say that adding clitoral stimulation during intercourse makes their orgasms stronger [3].

To celebrate the growing recognition of the clitoris and clitoral orgasms, in this article, we'll discuss clitoris anatomy, how a clitoral orgasm feels, and how to stimulate the clitoris.

What does a clitoral orgasm feel like?

An orgasm is a release of built-up sexual tension and involves a very intense pleasurable feeling in the genital area or the whole body. All our bodies are unique, so how we experience orgasm and how it feels in our bodies will vary. So will the length of the orgasm — some people might have orgasms that last a few seconds, and some experience longer orgasms.

Vaginal vs. clitoral orgasm

Some research suggests that orgasms from external clitoral stimulation and vaginal stimulation might feel different in our bodies. Often, clitoral orgasms are described as shorter, more intense, and localized, meaning they are felt mostly in the genital area. Vaginal orgasms are said to last longer, feel more intense, deeper, and like a whole-body experience [4]. That said, your experience might be different and that’s totally normal.

What is the clit?

The clitoris is a part of the female sex organ system. It has two parts — internal and external. The external part is a small bud located at the very top of the vulva, hidden behind the clitoral hood, and has thousands of nerve endings [5]. The internal part of the clitoris is much larger and wasn’t scientifically recognized or fully documented until the 1990s [6]. What's fascinating is that the clitoris only has one purpose — to make sex pleasurable.

Where is the clit?

As we already mentioned, the external clitoris is located at the very top of the vulva, above the vaginal opening. It might not be visible at first sight because it's hidden behind the clitoral hood.

The G-spot vs. the clitoris: are they the same?

Doctor Ernst Gräfenberg was the first to hypothesize the existence of a sensitive, sponge-like area supposedly located on the anterior wall of the vagina — the infamous G-spot in the 1950s. Since then, the existence of the G-spot has been highly debated over the years — some believed that it was a completely different structure from the clitoris, while others claimed that the G-spot doesn’t even exist.

Most recent research shows that the G-spot might actually be a part of the internal clitoris structure and not a separate pleasure spot [7]. 

Clitoral anatomy

The female pleasure anatomy is a complex structure that has many parts, some visible and some hidden:

• Glans clitoris: The part of the clitoris that most people know is called the glans clitoris, and it's the small pea-sized bud that has thousands of nerve endings.
• Clitoral hood: The glans of the clitoris is covered by the clitoral hood, but can be pulled back to expose the glans. It serves an important purpose of protecting the super-sensitive nerve bud from friction and rubbing against clothing.
• Clitoral body: The clitoral body is a part of the clitoris that's not visible to the eye. It's connected to the clitoral glands at the top and branches out into two parts at the bottom, making a wishbone-like shape.
• Crura: The two branches of the clitoral body are called crura. They are the "legs" of the clitoris, and they swell when we're aroused.

Vestibular bulbs: Vestibular bulbs are round masses of erectile tissue that sit on both sides of the vaginal opening. This upside-down heart shaped structure swells when we're aroused and is responsible for vaginal contractions that some might experience during orgasm [8].

How to stimulate the clitoris yourself

If you're curious to explore clitoral orgasms, we have a few tips that can help you enhance the experience:

1. Foreplay is key

When we engage in self-pleasure, we often forget to spend time building tension and arousal. During partnered sex, most people kiss, touch, and engage in other foreplay activities. Consider giving your body time to warm up during self-pleasure, too. Start slow and gentle by stimulating non-genital erogenous zones and work your way towards the clitoris.

2. Experiment with different techniques

Different techniques will elicit different types of pleasure, and you might find that certain techniques will help you experience orgasms more easily, while other techniques might not be for you. The key is to have an open mind to explore. Here are five simple techniques you might want to try:

• Draw circles: With your finger, draw a circle around your clitoris. Try going in circular motions right at the center of the bud and then making the circles larger. You might even flatten your palm, press it flat over the clitoris area, and move it in circles for even less localized stimulation.
• Tappity tap: With a finger, gently tap on the clitoris. You might play around with the speed, going slower and faster to see how it feels. Add more fingers to cover a larger surface around the clit. You might even play with the rhythm: tap, pause, tap, tap, pause, etc.
• Flick the bean: You can use your finger to stimulate the clitoris through up-and-down or side-to-side motion. You might play around with the speed, starting slow and then increasing the tempo. And you might alternate between up-and-down and left-to-right.
• Grind: This technique involves using an object to grind the clitoris and vulva. It could be a pillow you place between your legs or a sex toy. But you can also use your hand — hold the heel of your palm against the clitoris and move your hips against it.

3. Consider using a lube

A personal lubricant can help greatly enhance the sensations during a self-pleasure session. If you find that the natural lubrication isn't enough, don't shy away from using lube. Apply some to your fingers or directly on the vulva and spread it around. If you're using a water-based lubricant, it might dry out, so reapply as needed.

When choosing a personal lubricant, it's important to pay attention to the ingredients. Flavored lubes contain sugar, which can cause a yeast infection. Even if the lube is sugar-free, it might contain glycerin, which can also increase the risk of yeast infection [9]. Also, research shows that using petroleum jelly and oils as a lube can greatly increase the risk of yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis [10]. 

It's always best to choose natural, water-based lubes that are free from ingredients like glycerin, acetate, propylene glycol, and parabens. 

4. Over the panties vs. under the panties

Try stimulating the clitoris under the panties and over the panties to see how you enjoy the different sensations. Stimulating the clitoris over the panties can be great for people who have a super sensitive clitoris, especially when using sex toys. Adding the extra barrier might make the sensations more pleasurable.

Having a layer of fabric between your hands (or a toy) and the clitoris adds extra friction, which can feel good. You might play around with different materials (lace panties versus cotton panties) to see how it affects the pleasure you experience.

5. Edge yourself

Edging is a sexual practice of delaying an orgasm. The build-up of sexual arousal can lead to very intense orgasms, and it also helps you learn more about your body and what feels good.

Here's how you can try edging: bring yourself to the edge of an orgasm. Stop right as you're about to climax. Take a break from any stimulation for a few minutes. Then, pick back up again, building towards another orgasm. Repeat the cycle a couple of times before eventually climaxing.

6. Watch yourself in the mirror

Watching yourself in the mirror while masturbating can be a very empowering and educational experience. You can sit in front of the mirror or hold a hand mirror and watch yourself — whatever feels accessible and comfortable. As you touch yourself, observe how your body responds, reacts, and changes.

7. Slow and mindful wins the race

Very often, sex and even masturbation can be a race towards an orgasm. However, self-pleasure can be so much more than that, and if you have difficulty reaching an orgasm, removing the pressure to climax can actually help you orgasm.

So, as you touch yourself, focus on keeping your breathing steady and deep. You might close your eyes and shift your mind to noticing how your body feels at that moment and where in your body you experience pleasure.

How to stimulate your partner's clitoris

If your partner has a vulva, learning about their anatomy and different techniques to bring them pleasure can greatly increase their sexual satisfaction. Clit play is a pleasurable way to explore non-penetrative sex and have some fun. Here is what you need to know about stimulating your partner's clitoris:

1. Ask for directions

The easiest and most efficient way to learn how to stimulate your partner's clitoris is to ask for directions. As you touch them, experiment with different pressures, speeds, and stimulation techniques, and check in with them about how they feel. You might want to ask:

• "Does that feel good?"
• "Do you enjoy it when [describe the action]? Or does [describe the action] feel better?"

2. Watch and learn

Your partner might not be comfortable expressing how they enjoy being touched with words. In this case, you might try to have them touch themselves so you can watch them and learn their favorite techniques this way. You might want to say:

• "I'd love to watch you while you pleasure yourself so I can learn how to do it better."
• "I think it's so sexy when you touch yourself. Can you show me how you do it?"

3. Make the pleasure last

It's normal to get excited when playing with your partner. But try not to rush straight into clitoral stimulation and tease them a little by stimulating other areas of their body with your lips or fingers, such as [11, 12]:

• Lips
• Nipples
• Breasts
• Anus
• Perineum
• Nape of the neck
• Ears
• Toes
• Inner thighs
• Lower back
• Stomach
• Shoulders
• Head

Once your partner is warmed up and aroused, you can start to play with their clit. It will feel much more pleasurable for your partner this way.

4. Pressure is key

When stimulating your partner's clitoris, whether with your hands or your mouth, pressure is key. Applying too much pressure might feel uncomfortable and even painful, and applying too little pressure might not be enough to bring your partner to climax. So, you might want to play around with different pressure intensities and observe how your partner reacts to find the pressure that feels the best for them.

5. Try dry humping

Dry humping is one of the outercourse activities, and it's not only for teenagers — it can be a very fun way to pleasure each other. You may do it with clothes on or fully naked, whichever feels more comfortable. One way you might do it is by placing your thigh between your partner's legs and pushing it against the vulva so they can grind their hips and their clitoris into your leg.

Alternatively, you may lie down on your back and allow your partner to straddle you and grind their hips and vulva against your genitals. It might allow your partner to have better control of the rhythm, pressure, and speed, which can help them reach an orgasm easier.

6. Add plenty of lubrication

Consider introducing a lube when you stimulate your partner's clitoris. Adding a lube will enhance the sensations for them, which will make the stimulation more pleasurable.

7. Stay consistent

When stimulating your partner's clitoris, it's important to be consistent with the type of stimulation that works. So, once you determine the best way to touch them, try to keep the speed and rhythm consistent until they reach an orgasm.

8. Use your words

Some people are turned on by verbal affirmations during sex. As you use your hands and mouth to stimulate your partner's clitoris, consider sprinkling in some praise, such as:

• "You look so pretty when you moan."
• "I love the way you sound when I touch you."
• "You taste so good."
• "I can't get enough of you."

Adding sweet compliments at the right moment can heighten arousal for your partner and make them feel desired, wanted, and loved.

9. Kivin method

The Kivin method is an oral sex technique that involves stimulating the vulva sideways. Instead of being between your partner's legs during oral sex, you might lie down on either side of them. This position allows you to stimulate your partner's clitoris from side to side, which might feel more pleasurable for some.

10. Combine internal and external stimulation

Some people enjoy combined external clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Consider stimulating both spots at once for blended pleasure, or alternate between stimulating the clit and the G-spot to build arousal and tension gradually. Blended internal and external clitoris stimulation can be a way to explore squirting, if that's something you and your partner are into.

Using technology to increase pleasure

Whether you're exploring clitoral stimulation for the first time alone, deepening your understanding of what brings you pleasure, or are looking for more ways to enjoy sex with a partner, knowledge truly is power.

At Natural Cycles, we believe that understanding your body isn’t just about fertility — it’s about embracing every part of your health, including your sexual wellness. Because when you feel informed, you feel empowered. Ready to take charge of your cycle and your pleasure? Learn more about how Natural Cycles can support you on your journey.