Talking to your daughter about puberty: What parents need to know

Note on language: In this guide, we use the term “girl” to refer to a young person who is going through puberty as a female. We recognize that not everyone who experiences these changes will identify as a girl. Conversely, some young people who identify as girls may not experience all of the changes described here.

What is puberty?

Puberty is the natural process in which a child’s body slowly develops into an adult body, capable of reproduction. It’s guided by hormones — chemicals that send signals from the brain to the body, directing growth, change, and development toward maturity.

For girls, puberty includes milestones like growing breasts and a first period (menarche), as well as other changes like mood swings and acne. While the onset of puberty can feel sudden, puberty itself is a gradual process that unfolds over several years [1, 2]. 

When does puberty start and end?

Every child’s timeline is different, but puberty in girls generally starts between ages 8 and 13. The first visible signs of puberty are breast buds, while other milestones (like the first period) won’t occur until years later. 

Puberty typically ends within two to four years after a girl gets her period. However, some of puberty’s effects — like mood swings or occasional acne — can continue beyond puberty, and that’s completely normal [1, 3]. 

The stages of puberty for girls

Puberty is often described in stages, showing how changes build on each other. Doctors use something called Tanner Staging to describe the steps of puberty. Instead of focusing on age, it looks at how the body is changing — especially breast development, pubic hair growth, and the start of periods. 

While these stages offer a general guide to puberty, keep in mind that there’s a lot of individual variation when it comes to the changes and developments of puberty. Everyone’s body develops a little differently [4, 5]. 

Tanner Stages for Girls:

• Stage 1: No visible signs of puberty yet (specifically, no breast development and no pubic hair).
  
  
• Stage 2: Small breast buds form under the nipples (the first sign of puberty). A little light, downy pubic hair may appear.
  
  
• Stage 3: Breasts get fuller, and pubic hair gets darker and thicker.
  
  
• Stage 4: Breasts look more developed, with the nipple and areola forming a small mound. Pubic hair spreads and fills in. This is often when girls have their first period.
  
  
• Stage 5 (Maturity): Breasts and body shape look adult, and pubic hair may extend to the thighs.

When will my daughter’s period start?

A first period (menarche) is a major milestone, and — like so much of puberty — everyone’s timeline is unique. While most girls start their period around 12-14, it may arrive anywhere between ages 8 and 17. 

There are signs that a first period may be approaching, like the growth of pubic or underarm hair and fuller breasts (see Stage 4 above). For most girls, the first period typically occurs about two years after breast development begins. 

Some girls get their period later, which can be linked to low body weight, heavy exercise, emotional stress, or hormonal issues. Still, it’s a good idea to check in with a doctor if your daughter hasn’t started her period by age 15, just to make sure everything is on track [1, 6].

Other body changes for girls

In addition to the first period, puberty brings on many other changes:

• Breast growth and tenderness
  
  
• Vaginal discharge
  
  
• Growth of pubic and underarm hair
  
  
• Body odor changes
  
  
• Acne or oily skin

• Growth spurts and weight gain

• Emotional changes, including mood swings and increased sensitivity [7]

Tips for parents when talking about puberty with daughters

Puberty can feel like a big, confusing milestone — for both daughters and parents. This guide offers practical tips for talking about puberty, supporting healthy habits, and navigating the emotional ups and downs together.

Starting the conversation

• Be proactive: Start talking with your daughter about puberty early, rather than waiting until the changes are already underway. Having small, age-appropriate conversations over time helps her feel informed and in control, rather than confused or caught off guard. These talks can be simple — for example, explaining that emotions can be stronger on some days — and can build a foundation for more complex topics later. Books, films, or documentaries can also help initiate these conversations, giving both of you a shared reference point to discuss feelings, changes, and questions.
  
  
• Keep it light and low-pressure: Aim for conversations that feel relaxed and natural rather than formal or heavy. Casual chats — like in the car, while cooking, or at bedtime — help your daughter feel comfortable asking questions as new changes arise. Keeping the tone light encourages ongoing dialogue and makes it easier for her to share concerns without feeling anxious.
  
  
• Take her cues: Pay attention to how your daughter responds in conversations, and follow her lead when possible. If she seems curious, go deeper; if she seems overwhelmed, take a step back. Taking her cues shows respect for her comfort level and helps her absorb information at her own pace. Listening closely also helps you understand what she’s ready to learn and where she might need extra support.

Explaining the changes

• Communicate clearly and accurately: Using simple, precise language can help your daughter feel more comfortable with the changes happening in her body. For instance, refer to body parts correctly — rather than using vague terms or euphemisms — and provide context if necessary (i.e. why periods happen). This approach encourages her to ask questions when she’s unsure. Plus, clear communication reassures her that she can talk about her body openly, without confusion or shame.
  
  
• Frame the changes as normal and expected: Puberty is awkward, but it’s a natural part of growing up – not something to worry about or feel embarrassed by. When talking about these changes with your daughter, emphasize that her body is developing exactly as it should. Avoid referring to these bodily functions as embarrassing or “weird” — even if she does — but instead, prioritize words like normal, natural, and expected. This type of emphasis can help her feel more comfortable with her developing body.
  
  
• Share your own experience: Opening up about your own journey with puberty — including the highs, the lows, and the awkward moments — shows your daughter that she isn’t alone in navigating these changes. You can also share when you got your first period, since genetics play a role in first-period timing (in other words, if you got yours at 11, she may start around a similar age) [8]. Hearing firsthand experiences makes the abstract idea of growing up feel more concrete and approachable, and reminds her that puberty is a chapter that eventually passes.

Helping her feel prepared

• Prep for her first period: For many girls, navigating their first period can be the most nerve-wracking part of puberty, so it’s important to give your daughter the guidance and tools she needs to feel ready. Demonstrate how to use pads, tampons, or period underwear, and discuss what to expect, how often to change products, and when to ask for help. Going through the process together — even stocking up on supplies in advance — can ease anxiety and turn a potentially stressful moment into a manageable experience.
  
  
• Arm her with resources: No matter how approachable you are, sometimes your daughter may feel more comfortable learning on her own through books, websites, or videos. Providing age-appropriate, reliable resources lets her explore at her own pace while giving you peace of mind that the information she’s accessing is safe and trustworthy. Encourage your daughter to bring questions back to you, which creates a balance between self-guided learning and ongoing dialogue.
  
  
• Introduce (and model!) healthy habits and routines: Puberty is the perfect time to teach your daughter about caring for her changing body — not just through hygiene (though that’s a big one), but through everyday habits and routines. Encourage regular exercise, balanced meals, good sleep, and time to rest. Demonstrate how you care for your own body and mind, whether that’s a morning walk or skincare routine before bed. Modeling these small, consistent behaviors shows her the importance of self-care for building confidence and well-being.

Supporting her emotionally

• Listen and validate: Mood swings and increased sensitivity are common during puberty [9]. Encourage your daughter to share how she’s feeling, and when she does, listen without judgment or rushing to “fix” her emotions. Simply acknowledging what she’s experiencing — letting her know her feelings are real and understood — builds trust and confidence, making it easier for her to share in the future.

• Introduce healthy coping strategies: To that end, as your daughter navigates the emotional ups and downs of puberty, it’s helpful to teach her simple ways to manage stress and regulate emotions. This could include journaling, deep breathing, stretching, or mindfulness exercises — all of which can be adapted for younger children. Playful or creative outlets are just as valuable: hobbies, outdoor play, sports, or crafting let her move, create, and have fun. The goal is to let her explore ways to manage her feelings that feel natural and enjoyable.
  
  
• Remind her that your door is always open: When talking about puberty, reassure your daughter that you’re a safe space for guidance, support, and questions — and that no topic is off-limits. Emphasize that she can come to you whenever she needs, even if she needs time to process changes first. These reminders help her feel secure and supported through her puberty journey. 

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