What does an orgasm feel like?

What does an orgasm feel like?

An orgasm is an intense sensation of pleasure that comes at the peak of sexual arousal, accompanied by the muscles around the genitals and anus contracting and relaxing [1]. It’s common to experience feelings of euphoria, pleasurable satisfaction, relaxation, and relief.

Even so, there's no straightforward answer to the question of exactly what an orgasm feels like. The truth is that everybody experiences pleasure differently, which means that orgasms will feel different for everyone. But not only that — even for the same person, each individual orgasm may feel different and vary in intensity and duration depending on the type of stimulation, mood, and even which phase of the menstrual cycle you’re in. No orgasm is the same. 

What makes an orgasm feel good?

During an orgasm, our brain releases several feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters, which create feelings of pleasure, bonding between partners, and satisfaction:

• Dopamine: The brain releases dopamine during an orgasm. It's a reward hormone that conditions us to seek out things that make us feel good through pleasure [2].
• Oxytocin: A different area in our brains releases oxytocin, also known as the "bonding hormone." The release of this hormone causes uterine contractions in women during labour, and some research suggests that it also causes uterine contractions during an orgasm. Oxytocin promotes feelings of closeness, love, and affection [3].
• Prolactin: This hormone is released during orgasm and plays an important role in satisfaction post sex by temporarily decreasing sexual drive [4].
• Endorphins: Our body releases natural opioids that may have a pain-relieving effect and promote feelings of happiness and relaxation [5].

What happens during an orgasm?

An orgasm is the culmination of our sexual arousal cycle, which describes how our bodies react to sexual stimulation. This cycle is usually organised in four phases:

• Desire: The first step during which we start having sexually arousing thoughts, which leads to excitement, and our bodies prepare to have sex. Our heart rate goes up, muscles tense, and blood starts flowing into the genitals.
• Plateau: The second step, during which our bodies continue to experience sexual stimulation and build towards an orgasm.
• Orgasm: Also known as the climax, during which all the sexual tension that’s been building in our bodies during the Plateau stage is released. We experience pleasurable contractions in the genital area, and our bodies release a number of feel-good hormones.
• Resolution: The last stage that marks the ending of the sexual response cycle. This is when our bodies relax and go back to normal functioning [1, 6].

While our bodies usually go through all four stages, it doesn’t have to happen every time. We may stop in the middle and not experience the orgasm and resolution stage. That’s totally normal. Sex doesn’t always have to end in an orgasm, whether you’re with a partner or playing solo. You can still enjoy the time and sensations that sexual stimulation elicits in your body.

During an orgasm, our bodies experience a number of different changes, such as:

• Muscle contractions throughout the body, including the genitals and anus area
• Breathing rate and heart rate increase
• Hormones are released into the bloodstream
• Bodily fluids are expelled from the genitals, such as ejaculate from the penis and the vagina [6, 7]

What happens after an orgasm?

After an orgasm, the body calms down. This is called the resolution phase, and during this time, your body returns to the way it was before the sexual arousal cycle started — slower breathing, a normal heart rate, and muscles relax [6]. Some people are able to get aroused again soon after and have multiple orgasms, while others need more time to recover.

Different types of orgasms

One of the amazing things about our bodies is that we can experience pleasure in many forms — and there are several different types of orgasms, too. Of course, everyone is different, so some of us may or may not be able to experience all kinds. Each individual orgasm can also feel unique. Let’s take a look at a few different types of female orgasms that you can explore (on your own, or with a partner).

Clitoral orgasm

The clitoris is an important part of the female pleasure anatomy. It consists of both the external part that we can see on the vulva and a larger internal structure [8]. Clitoral orgasm is achieved through stimulation of the external parts of the clitoris. This type of orgasm is the most common, and only 18% of women are able to orgasm without any external clitoral stimulation [9]. The sensation will vary from person to person. Some may experience a quick burst of sexual pleasure, while others may have a longer-lasting orgasm.

Vaginal orgasm

Vaginal orgasms are achieved by stimulating pleasure zones located inside the vagina, such as the G-spot. Scientists have long speculated about the existence of the G-spot, but the most recent studies suggest that instead of being a distinct area inside the vagina, the G-spot would actually be an internal part of the clitoris [10]. Some report that vaginal orgasms can last longer and feel more intense, like a whole-body experience [11].

Blended orgasm

A blended female orgasm is exactly what it sounds like: an orgasm that's achieved through stimulating multiple areas at the same time. For example, you could have a blended orgasm from a combination of clitoris and vaginal stimulation, clitoris and anal stimulation, clitoris and nipple stimulation, and so on. Depending on which areas you focus on, the sensation of the orgasm can vary significantly, allowing you to experience novel sensations.

Squirting orgasm

Squirting, or female ejaculation, is when a certain type of fluid is released from the urethra (where you pee from) during sex [12]. It may be accompanied by an orgasm, but it doesn’t always. While some find squirting a pleasurable experience, others don’t really like it — and that’s okay. Everyone's different. Some surveys see up to 69% of women reporting being able to squirt during sex [13].

Nipple orgasm

Nipple orgasms occur from the stimulation of the nipple and breast area. Not everyone may have an orgasm from nipple stimulation alone, but many people find pleasure in stimulating this area, so it can add to the overall sexual satisfaction during sex, even if it doesn’t result in an orgasm on its own.

Coregasm

A coregasm is an exercise-induced orgasm (EIO) that can occur during core-focused workouts. Coregasms aren’t very common — only about 9% of people have experienced them, and scientists don’t know why they happen, as they can occur without any sexual stimuli [14]. Again, everyone's bodies are different, so while some may find coregasms pleasurable, others find them inconvenient.

Tips to have a strong orgasm

For many of us, orgasms may feel elusive, but there are things that can increase our chances of having one. One study, which included over 25,000 women, showed that those who received more oral sex, had sex for a longer duration, and asked for what they wanted in bed had orgasms more often. Additionally, the women who reported more frequent orgasms were more satisfied with their relationships, praised their partner for what they did in bed, teased about doing sexual things to their partners over text or email, wore sexy lingerie, tried new sexual positions or anal stimulation, and were more likely to act out fantasies, incorporate sexy talk, and express love during sex [15]. 

If you're looking for ways to enhance your sexual pleasure and have stronger orgasms solo or with a partner, here are some things you may want to try:

• Foreplay is key: Whether you're going solo or having partnered sex, foreplay is a surefire way to enhance sexual pleasure. That can include caressing various erogenous zones on your body, watching, reading, or listening to erotic material, kissing and making out, flirting, cuddling, and much more. Long foreplay prepares your body for pleasure and can help you orgasm more easily.
• Learn what works for your body: It's important to know your own body and what turns you on in order to have great sex. Masturbation is an excellent way to learn your erogenous zones, what sort of stimulation feels good, and what it takes for you to reach an orgasm. Once you know your own pleasure map, you can easily share it with a partner and have great orgasms, both when playing solo and with a partner.
• Don't shy away from the lube: Even if you have plenty of natural lubrication, adding more lube is always a good idea. Lube helps reduce friction and enhance the sensations, which can greatly increase pleasure and make orgasms stronger. And if you're engaging in anal sex, lube is a must because the anus doesn't have any natural lubrication.
• Communicate: Your partner can't read your mind, so it's essential to be open with them about what you desire, what’s a no-go for you, what feels good, and what doesn't. If talking things out feels uncomfortable, even taking their hand and guiding them during sex can be helpful. Or, you can choose to show them how you touch yourself while they watch, which can be a fun way to spice up foreplay.
• Practice mindfulness: Being present in your body and mindful of all the sensations you experience when you or your partner touches your body is key to sexual satisfaction. It may be helpful to take a couple of deep breaths to ground yourself whenever you feel your mind wandering and bring your attention back to what's happening in your body. Practicing yoga or meditation outside the bedroom can also help you become more present during sex.

Are there health benefits of orgasm?

Orgasms don’t just feel good, they also have a ton of health benefits — both emotionally and physically. Some of the ways orgasms can help support our health include:

• Better sleep
• Higher self-esteem
• Deeper connection with your partner
• Better fitness
• Reduced stress and tension
• Better overall health
• Improved longevity [16]

Why am I having trouble having an orgasm?

If you’ve ever had trouble reaching climax, you’re definitely not alone. Difficulty reaching an orgasm is called anorgasmia, and it affects between 10–15% of women and 5–10% of men [17, 18]. There are two different types:

• Primary anorgasmia is when someone has never been able to orgasm.
• Secondary anorgasmia occurs when someone is first able to orgasm, but loses the ability later in life [19].

There could be a number of reasons why you may be having trouble orgasming. Some are physical, some are psychological or relationship-related. The reasons for anorgasmia also slightly vary between men and women. Regardless of what is causing it, remember there is help available — you don’t have to go through it alone.

Factors that cause women to have trouble orgasming include:

• Contextual factors, such as a lack of foreplay or boredom in the relationship
• Psychological factors such as anxiety, stress, and depression
• Relationship issues, such as a lack of trust in a partner
• Lack of knowledge of sexual function
• Cultural factors
• Negative feelings about sex
• Shyness around sexual communication
• Hormonal changes during menopause
• Chronic illness like diabetes
• A history of sexual abuse and sexual assault
• Taking medications like SSRIs [17, 20]

A study that included over 3,000 participants found that 11.7% of men reported difficulty orgasming. Men reported a number of reasons for anorgasmia:

• Anxiety/distress (41%)
• Inadequate stimulation (23%)
• Low arousal (18%)
• Medical issues (9%)
• Partner issues (8%) [18]

When to speak to a healthcare provider

If you've never had an orgasm, no matter how much you experimented with different techniques, positions, and tools, or if you used to be able to orgasm and haven't been able to recently, and it bothers you, it may be a good idea to speak to a certified sex therapist. We know that sex can be a sensitive topic, and some might feel uncomfortable or worried to reach out for help, but they are used to all kinds of questions like this. They'll run some tests to figure out the cause of anorgasmia and will be able to prescribe individual treatment to help you find a way to reach your full sexual potential. 

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